Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Friday, March 21, 2014

Studying = Students + Dying

I can't take it anymore. It feels like I am keeping so much bottled up inside. I have been away from my drug too long. I am experiencing strong withdrawal symptoms. I need to get a shot of it NOW.

I haven't written for almost 2 months. This is so unlike me.

So Hello Folks! Glad to be back.

A lot has happened over the past two months. Well, a lot happens in 2 seconds and I am talking about the past two months.

My brother has started with his Board exams. In India the Grade 12 CBSE Board exams are a “coming-of-age” ritual of sorts. As January approaches, the shadow looms large. Every teacher, tutor, friend, classmate, senior, junior, uncle, aunty, neighbour, known, unknown face seems to just be saying one thing – Got to hurry. No more time. February arrives. Most of the parents have a choice taunt for their kids – You don't even have a proper one month February will be over before you know it. Dear Parents, the whole year has almost come to a close without the kids realising so please don't rub it in with salt and everything else that time is running out. Chances are they have realised.

I mentioned a lot had happened over the last 2 months so why do I sit here writing about exams. I don't have any except for a viva voce 2 days later. Yes, I am worried about my brother but I have entrusted him with Allah. Then why?

The answer lies in something I recently came across.

Last week, on a Friday just like this, I was sitting in the book bank of my college. Our book bank is a huge place which has ample books and perhaps infinite nooks and corners to get absolute peace and perfect silence so that one can sleep in peace. Ooops! That is just me. I meant so that one can study in peace. I was having fun with Harrison there, that’s not some cool foreigner so get rid of that look on your face reader. Harrison is the Tell All book of Medicine. It weighs more than a ton perhaps and consists of two volumes. Yes, I like having fun with my studies than being frustrated by them.
(For those reading this and don’t know me, I am a medical student.)

An intern walked in. We started talking about some important topics, study methodology and her current clinical posting. She was currently an intern with the Psychiatry Department. She told us of a case she had just attended to. The patient, a girl aged 16 years had been appearing in the Grade 12 exams. Her Physics exam went bad, so bad that she lost her mind over it. She had all the other exams ahead of her but now she isn’t going to be giving any. She lost all her opportunities over one bad question paper. Every year there are so many students who end their lives because of the same.
The intern walked out and I returned to Harrison. Subconsciously I was still thinking.

Today I kept aside my books and decided to write this. (While writing this line I glance at my books and they almost seem to be smirking at me. They have been aside for quite a few days now. Never mind.)

We need to think where what is going wrong. At this point if I was at any school, college or in any meeting, this would be the point where I would say, “Let the blame game begin.”

One of the learned elders (teachers, some parents) would say, “It is the students. They just don't know how to deal with it anymore. They live distracted in false made up scenarios. The reality of life kills them. When we were their age…
Dear elders when you were there age the seat versus student ratio was way low. Dear old Medical professors and especially very old Medical professors you chose your specialities. You did not have to appear in an entrance exam again after graduation. So without offending the sensitive ones I request you to please stop right there with the “When I was your age” lectures. Also please stop the “Don't try to act smart/confident/over smart/overconfident” taunt. The students don’t act. They are trying to get through. There are enough troubles without you adding to them. There might be some tough eggs to crack but all they need is guidance, mentorship and caring support. For those who still don’t take heed, they’ll learn when they stumble. You don't need to go all out and break their spirit, nip it in the bud before they have even bloomed.
Another thing that should be stopped is gauging a student’s worth by their marks.
In the real world out there it is practical approach of the knowledge that counts. Learning up facts and figures and vomiting them out does not guarantee one’s success in life. So stop gauging students by marks. They are worth a million times more.
A right answer equals 100% marks, a compliment and all else. Very good. Well deserved.
A wrong answer in a written exam is still easier to let go. Just less marks.
What hurts rather hits is a wrong answer in a viva. The poor student gets a weird look of disappointment, a sarcastic or rude remark or something like it is almost the answer but not exactly what the examiner had wanted to hear, it isn’t that word in their head. (The only answer to that is in my head but I can't tell it to the people it needs to be told to i.e. I know the answer and I know it is right. However I lack the power of telepathy examiner so I cannot tell you exactly what you have in your head.)

Some parents would say it is the teachers who are at fault. The whole education system has become too commercialised, they just don't care for the quality of education. The teachers of a school, the faculties at colleges – they are to blame.
There are black sheep everywhere. Stop generalizing. Don’t paint all with the same colours. While some teachers, faculty members work day, night and all times in between trying to give your ward a better future, there are some who take their jobs for granted. It is difficult enough trying to answer the million questions that every statement by the teacher raises in the minds of the pupils. Add to it conducting exams, disciplining the pupils and other tasks like taking attendance and spotting the proxies. In the case of a medical school faculty these professors are also attending to full OPDs. It isn't going to do any good just blaming the teachers. What could be there would be orientation programmes and periodic self assessment of the teachers. That would help to really improve. No one really wants to be remembered as a bad teacher, do they.
The students have to learn from them all anyways. So the students ought to respect their tutors, teachers and faculty members. Parents teach your child to accept what they cannot change. Never talk poorly about teachers.
Inculcate in children the vision, the passion to look beyond the four walls of the classroom or lecture theatre. Tell them they shall receive if they ask. They just got to look in the right places.

Now, the most awaited version. What the students have got to say.
A generalised opinion from students would be, “The teachers, the parents, the infinite people in society constantly judging us don’t know what we go through. Stop it already.”
What I would like to say is this. I have been an ace student for almost all my life. Then I had an academic setback or let’s say that is what others thought. Alhamdulillah Allah has given me a lot to be thankful for even my setback. He blessed me with a unique experience during that time. I learnt a lot that I may have missed out on. However all that I learned then cannot be tested in any exam. It is only in the test of life that I can apply that and that is all that really counts. Today I don't want to rate myself on the basis of my report card alone.
Undoubtedly it is important to study because what the mind does not know, the eyes won't see, the ears won't hear, the hands won’t feel and the lips won't question.
We got to study but not just to pass exams but to broaden our horizons.
We got to study not to vomit out data in the exam paper but to excel in our chosen fields in life. In the future In Shaa Allah when I am a doctor practising somewhere I am sure the patient is not going to come and question me on the marks I got during my undergraduate years and all those details. They'd be interested in getting their problem solved. That is what really matters.

If you can contribute to society, add some positivity to the lives of others and bring cheer – Sleep peacefully tonight you are going to be successful In Shaa Allah.

Thoughtfully Yours After A Long Time
Fatima


PS. If you are appearing in Board exams/Entrance Exams/any super important exam –GO STUDY. People may not call you on your birthday but they are waiting for your result day to come  ;)




Monday, January 27, 2014

My Sweetheart, My Brother

I had a lot on my mind and a lot more on my hands. I was doing my work when suddenly I had the urge to surf Facebook. Yes, Facebook, one of the easiest ways to get distracted and lose track of time.

Scrolling through the timeline I stopped to like a photo from my brother’s farewell. I scrolled further but just a post later I was back at his photos. I sat and looked through all the photos from the Farewell and the After-Farewell Party.

Once I was done seeing the photos, I sat and wept. I lost track of time completely and went through the album of memories. Every single moment spent with my siblings carefully captured and kept at the back of my mind.

I start to cry again as I write this.

Where did all the time go? When did my little brother born on 12 July 1996 grow up to stand tall (taller than me, finally!) as a 17 going on 18 smart and handsome adolescent?

Right now I just want to hug him and tell him all this
Imran, I love you. You mean the world to me and a lot more. If I could, I would write every happiness in the world in your fate. I don’t know if you remember but I as kids when you were 3 and I was 8, whenever you got scolded for some mistake it was I who used to start crying before you. I could never see anyone hurt you in any way.
I have always wanted life to give me the best. If there is anyone I wish to see happier than me it is you and Ayesha. I want you both to reach success in your respective fields and bring pride to our parents. (Tell Ayesha, there will be another emotionally charged write-up for her sometime but this one is for you alone.)
I haven’t been a really close sister. During the years when I wanted to be next to you the most, I had to be away. My career choice, my life, my ambition distanced us but only physically. At heart, we have never been apart.
I know how much the tumultuous times in my life have troubled you, Imran. I know how you value every little thing that is related to me.
Being away wasn’t all bad though. It has made me realise how much I love you and how much you really mean to me.
It has also given me the chance of acting like the youngest and the brattiest of the three. I know when I come back home every six months, I have a brother and sister waiting for me. Waiting to fulfil all my little desires – shawarma, ice-cream, pizza get together and so much more. Thanks sweetheart.

Dear not-so-little-any-more brother,
Step into this challenging world very carefully. Be mindful of all the pitfalls you have been warned about. Remember the values you have been taught. You don’t have to commit all mistakes on your own, learn from the mistakes of others and don’t repeat them. If you ever err, know that there is someone here who is always there for you. Someone who will not judge you, someone who will accept you and help you get over whatever mistake you make.
(I promise I won’t tell mum like I have as a kid. Believe me it was only always for your betterment but I won’t tell on you now.)
As your Board exams approach, I know the pressure that is there for a good result. You have the added pressure of two outstanding results from your sisters to live up to. Go out there confident! Surprise everyone. Ace the Boards better than your sisters.
Every single moment I am going to be praying for your bright future. Till the day you join the course and college of your choice, I am not going to be able to breathe easy. Especially till April, I am going to be as tensed as I had been during my Boards. You remember those dreadful days, right?
I am always there 24/7 for you via Gmail, Skype, WhatsApp, phone and any other means you can think of.
May Allah guide you and help you in all your endeavours.
Love and best wishes,
Yours
Fatima


PS. Love you brother. You mean the world to me and a lot more.







Friday, September 27, 2013

Mushy Movie Marathon

Okay that was one weird title. But that is exactly what I did. Some days back  I need to destress after a Pharmacology test,; one that deserves no mention, not on my blog, not in my life.
So I sat and watched 4 movies all with a mushy romantic theme. It was one of those times when I have so much I don't want to think about anything and just get lost in a different world. So I chose to get lost in a world of romance.
(I can almost see my sister's unique rolling eyes at me expression when she reads this, especially the above paragraph. Ayesha dear, just don't vomit with all the mush here. :P )

I started with A Walk to Remember. The movie is beautiful beyond words. Obviously after this movie every girl wishes for a Carter like miracle in her life. The most beautiful thoughts from this movie were

"Love is like the wind. You cannot see it but you can feel it."

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”

***

Next was Trance. It left me in a trance. Loved the genius behind the storyline. Yes, the hero was drool worthy too but first things first. There were some deep thoughts in the movie.

It hurts when love cheats or betrays and it hurts when love is suspicious. But it is fatal when love becomes an obsession.

Also One never stops loving someone. Either they never did or they always will. Nothing in the word can make you forget your true love.

***

After two Hollywood movies, it was time to shift to Bollywood. Next in line was Lootera.

It is a poetic movie as one of my friends described it. There was lot in the female lead that I liked. She trusts easily, loves unconditionally, is passionate about writing, likes winter wonderland and can never let go of her one true love.

There was one scene which I loved.
The male lead realises how the female lead is way out of his league. He decides to distance himself from her by getting involved in the work at hand and end their courtship for good. The female lead, disturbed by the sudden distance between them, goes up to him and questions why he was doing this. 
He answers as best he can ending it with "Behtar hoga aap chali jayein" (It will be better if you leave this place.)
She replies in a calm composed way, "Behtar hoga aap mar jayein" (It will be better if you leave this world.)

The pain of unrequited love, the anger of disappointment and all the emotions of the moment beautifully summarised in two lines.

The movie had many currents running through One that struck me was No matter how deeply a loved one hurts us, love finds the power and the strength to forgive and trust once again.

Also the movie reiterates One never really forgets their true love. Either they never did or they always will.
***

Lastly I watched Raanjhana. I had heard rave reviews and so much about the movie that my expectations were risen many-fold.
Note to self: Never expect. You are bound to get disappointed.

People had said it had awesome acting and an interesting storyline. I searched for the interesting story all throughout the movie but in vain. Probably the movie was very similar to life. A bag of mixed emotions and deadly confusions.
There are may other things I can say about it but I may be labelled for giving the movie so many labels.
So let's end it here.
Once again the moral of the story was One never really gets over their true love. Either they never did or they always will.

Yeah that's all I learnt from the Mushy Movie Marathon. I was looking for a way to de-stress but watching the Bollywood movies in the end was the wrong step. It should have been the other way round. Bollywood followed by Hollywood or at least better Bollywood choices.

For now, that is pretty much from my side. My books await my return but sleep looks more inviting.
Sleep it is.
Goodnight books. See you later.

C'est la vie world.

Mushily yours
Fatima


Saturday, September 7, 2013

Super Saturday :)

In between the innumerable tests, sessionals, viva exams and what not, I planned a surprise for two of my classmates - Shadma & Sumaiya. My partner in crime - Kulsum Sheikh, another classmate.

So the birthdays had long passed with no mention of a surprise or treat. Shadma's came during vacations and Sumaiya's was in the middle of sessionals. Months later no one expected a surprise. It was over as all thought.

Tada! Not yet.

In true Bollywood Style - Kahani abhi baaqi hai, mere dost.

After class we went to get a birthday cake and gifts for the lovely ladies. Reached their hostel to find them asleep. Woke them up saying, " Come, let's celebrate your birthday." :P

The guests too had to be woken up from deep slumber. :P

After some amazing moments of cake cutting, we all wanted the real treat from them now.

After a number of permissions that the hostlers require to walk out of the imposing hostel boundaries we were off to our regular birthday treat hangout - Kwality at Centre Point.

Food, fun, friends and fantastic moments.

Yes, we still have exams, sessionals, terminals looming ahead and so much more to do. But life can't wait. We know how to make time for fun.

Love you friends. Thanks to all those who came and made the party such a success. To all those who couldn't come - We missed you and you missed some super fun.

Still-remembering-yesterday
Fatima


Sunday, September 1, 2013

A Century and Beyond

I started this blog many days back at the stroke of midnight. Yes, A dramatic beginning. Yo can count on me for being dramatic. Love to be so. Then it became silent for a very very very long time. I got busy and din't think what was going on in life would be interesting enough to put up on my blog. As one of my old friends put it, "What is your blog going to have? A list of upcoming exams and assignment submission dates?"

So I got busy with assignments and exams and a lot more happened on the side.

Then life took a turn. No, not just one turn. My life which had always been a roller coaster that is the kids version suddenly transformed into a super absobloodylutely amazing roller coaster ride. It didn't just have the highs. There were some serious lows too but Alhamdulillah it was fantastic.

The medley of those highs and lows and all the places in between gave me a lot to write on the blog. New followers joined. And many just follow on the sly. There's something interesting about being a nameless statistic perhaps.

All the same I was happy to cross 500 clicks at first, then a 1000, a 1500, a 2500 and it may soon be 3000 now.

A century of posts. Yes, whether the posts were good, bad or whatever one might brand them, here I am happy to be crossing a century.

One more reason to celebrate is I just won the second place in a Super Hero Story Writing Competition.
Yipppeee! :)

In times of celebration one must never forget to thank those who made it happen. So Thank You ALLAH, without Your help, it would have been impossible.

Thanks family, friends, fiends, readers, followers - named and nameless ones, and all those who have ever ventured this way.

As I end this I am reminded of something I read long back. Would love to share it with you all,
You may not Love me,
You may not even Like me,
But You will Never Forget Me.

Yours
Fatima


Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Another Year, Another Ramadan, Another Me?

Another Ramadan draws to a close.

What are the current flow of thoughts around?

Preparations for Eid:
Where do we plan to go for Eid namaaz?
Who all will be going along?
What clothes to wear?
Is everything in place - Clothes, shoes, accessories?
What dishes are going to be there to enjoy on Eid?
Where all are we going to visit?
The list is endless.

How many have thought about the questions that really matter?
For example:
Has the Zakatul- Fitr been paid?
Have I taken full advantage of this Holy Month?
Have I been successful in gaining Allah's mercy?
Have I been true to my Creator?
Have I learnt something that I will now integrate in my life?
How have I utilised this month to change for the better?
This is the time to reflect and ponder upon the month that is about to end.

There may be many people who were there the last Ramadan but passed away before the advent of this Ramadan. Who knows which Ramdan may be our last? Which may be our last Sajdah before Allah? Which may be our last chance to pray for His mercy?

Make the most of these precious last moments of Ramadan.
May Allah forgive us, guide us and bless us with another Ramadan.



Sunday, May 12, 2013

You Are To Blame, Ma!

Came back from college and called up home. The conversation between ma & me:

Ma: What’s new?
Me: Nothing.
Ma: Tired
Me: Not really. In fact I am excited. Just a half day tomorrow, then two days off.
Ma: You are going to college for a half day?
Me: Yeah, we’ll still get full attendance.
Ma: You have enough attendance. Bunk tomorrow. Have a three day weekend. Chillax.
Me: Ma, I have to go to class tomorrow.
Ma: Your wish but you can easily have fun for three days. Your sessionals & vivas just got over. Have fun. Hang out with friends. Plan something or just go on hibernation mode for three days.
Me: Ma, thanks. I love you. Though I am still going to college tomorrow, I will make sure I sleep the next two days away.
Ma: Don’t take so much tension. Sooner or later they’ll hand out your MBBS degree. You don't have to die for it. Enjoy. Don't take life out of living. And the most important thing – Whatever you do, BE HAPPY. Anything else? Something you want to say? Am I missing out on any latest gossip from college? Any updates on the guys or girls at college?
Me: Naah, nothing new. Same old. Will chat over the long weekend. Allah Hafiz.
Ma: Sure, Allah Hafiz. Be Happy.

Yes, Mum never raises an eye when I talk about bunking. Rather according to her well-timed bunks are necessary to cool off.

At school, whenever I worried whether my preparation for an exam the following day was complete or not, Ma was always the one who told me to shut my books and go to bed. According to her my tension was unfounded. For me, it was satisfying enough to know that in ma’s eyes I had already done my best. Nothing else mattered.

Most of the mum’s friends go for morning walks or yoga classes. Not my mother.
Mom captains her school faculty’s cricket team, takes match-winning wickets and wins trophies.
This reminds me that both my parents are cricket addicts but dad can never cheer his team like mum does.
Rather it is dad who says, “What are you so serious about? It is just a game”.

Ma, you can never do the ordinary, can you?

Ma always tells me she doesn't want to push me to my limits or anything. She wants me to take life as it comes, one thing at a time.
On the other hand, there is no way she is going to accept even a hint of mediocrity from me.
According to her when I have a mother who is still adding medals, trophies and certificates to her treasure trove, there is no way I can rest on my laurels. She sure knows how to get her point across.

The moments that I love the most are when I am all serious and elderly and ma asks me to take the risk. Give things a try before going for the tried and tested.

Ma: Why don't you get your ears pierced?
Me: No need ma. Don’t feel like I am losing out on anything.
Ma: You are missing out on the infinite choices of earrings that complement your dresses.
Me: Ma, please. I am not really missing out on anything.
Ma: As you like it. We can get it done whenever you want.
Me: Thanks ma.

Ma: Why don't you try contact lenses?
Me: I don't want to.
Ma: I am not going to say no, if that is why you are refusing.
Me: I know ma. You rarely refuse anything to me. But, seriously I don't want to.
Ma: As you like it. Do give it a thought. I know most of your friends do use contacts. May be you too would like to try.
Me: Sure ma. I'll tell you if I want to.

Ma is always up to date with all the latest fashion, fads and everything. So all I do is trust her blindly. If ma likes something for me, it has to be excellent.

Ma, it’s wonderful when I think about something, try unsuccessfully to explain it to you and you get me something even better than what I was trying to get in the first place. You just know what is perfect for me.

People often say a daughter is the reflection of her mother. I don't think I am your reflection yet. There is so much I have to do before I can even be compared to you. However, one thing's for sure. I know where I get the dynamism from.

I rarely conform to orthodox rules and regulations.
I question anything & anyone when they are wrong.
I respect but don't fear authority.

People around me always wonder how someone can be so much a live wire. How someone can live like they want to without thinking about what people say.

They do not know, it is your influence, ma.

Ma, you are my secret-keeper. I have nothing to hide. Nothing to worry about. I am amused at how efficiently you fill in any part that I edit while telling you about something or someone.

I know your prayers always surround me, protect me and are with me. At the end of the day if something does go wrong, you are there for me. You make the world seem alright just by talking to me. Going without talking to you even for a day is like being in a room without oxygen, there is just no way to survive.

I have been writing this article for so many months. I kept editing it since it never seemed right. There is still so much more I had to add to this. I didn't want it to coincide with Mother's Day when the world would be telling how much they love their mums. Anyways, I decided to go ahead with it today because I realised that I can never really say how much you mean to me. 

I just remembered the incident of a man who came to the Prophet (PBUH);
He said he had helped his mother perform Hajj (Muslim Pilgrimage to Makkah) seven times, by carrying her on his shoulders. He asked whether he had repaid his mother for all that she had done for him.
The Prophet (PBUH) said he had failed to even repay his mother for one night that she spent awake when he had fever.

Ma, I can never really do anything for you. I just hope that Allah makes me the pride of your eyes, the prayer on your lips, the warmth of your heart and the coolness of your mind.

Love you ma for everything forever and ever.

PS. Only one person is responsible for all that I am. You are to blame, Ma!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Fragile - Handle with Care


"Fragile - Handle With Care"


Seeing this one sticker on any package, even the hastiest of people take care. What if whatever is inside breaks. It must be valuable. It must be really delicate. It may be something very beautiful. Whatever it is sure needs utmost care.

However, we often don’t care for the most beautiful and fragile thing given to us by Allah – our life.

Life is beautiful. Every moment filled with opportunities, immense potential to succeed and yes infinite potential to fail but that is life. It is a complete package – the good with the bad, the sweet with the bitter and at the end of it all we realise whatever happened was for the better.

Being in the medical field one thing you realise is the fragility of life. Looking around one realises that life takes the most unexpected turns and can spring on you the worst shocks. Here today, gone tomorrow. The only thing left behind may be regret.
Regret for not showing the departed all the love and respect they deserved while they were there. It could be a friend, a relative, a child, a parent or a grandparent. The beautiful moments that could have been are lost in a heap of “I wish…”

I am no stranger to death. People around me have passed away leaving behind gaping voids. My grandparents were the ones whose death I am still not over. Their deaths were imminent. The doctors had warned us. Told us to accept it as a reality and say our final goodbyes well in time. But I doubt if anyone can ever bid their loved ones goodbye or accept their permanent departure.
Then there have been the shocking sudden deaths of classmates and some other people even younger to me among our friend circles. They hadn’t seen anything in life. They were still beginners in this game called life. I wonder time and again whether they would have lived differently if they knew they had a limited time.

Reading ‘The Casual Vacancy’ last night, I was reminded once again of the vulnerability of life. It is a beautiful book, a tragicomedy described by some. What it really has is a thread running throughout reminding that life is to be handled with care lest we do it some permanent damage.

People throw away their life so easily. They let people, who barely matter, destroy their lives. Some tie their life to people, some to love, some to hate, some to goals, some to ambitions, some to things inanimate but in the end everything is illusory. We forget that life is not. Let’s tie our life to something immortal today.

Tie our life to the unending love of Allah. His love is complete, pure and boundless. This one bond has the power to take care of all other bonds. If this one bond in our life is nurtured right from the cradle we will know the true value of the gifts showered upon us. Forget the cradle since one can’t be born again. Take a vow today. Promise yourself that if there is only one wish you can fulfil, it will be the wishes of Allah, the Almighty. Do as you are bidden to do by Him. All your troubles, your desperations will disappear into smoke and a beautiful calm will set in. Close to Him, you realise that life is transient and so are all its trials and tribulations. If He has given us a challenge He has also given us the strength to overcome it.

We are given one life and if lived right, once is more than enough.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Distracting Addictions

Don't get addicted.
Stay away from addictions.
Addictions are a weakness.
Addictions can destroy you.

I had heard these things time and again since childhood. Yet, I fell into their trap.

Yes, I am addicted. Unfortunately the addictions overpower me and I helplessly flow along with them. Then comes a point when I finally see how much damage has been done and most of it is irreversible. All I can do is understand the futility of my addiction and move ahead.

These are the steps to follow, I told myself:
Reflect on past.
Recognise problem/addiction.
Get de-addicted.
Get over the whole thing.
Move on better, stronger and wiser.

Realised it is easier said than done,
That is why we call it an addiction.

My addictions are infinite, okay finite, but still being me is a complicated affair. So I have many addictions. They add variety and spice to my life. The problem arises when I have an important issue at hand and it is at that very moment when all these gang up against me.

These is what the addictions plan in their meeting:
We know she has a major task at hand - sessional/manual submission/viva/all of these and more.
It's time to unleash our power yet again.
All in chorus: Attack!

The result:
I have this task to get over with first but let me have a look at Facebook,
I think I need to update my profile picture, even my cover picture. Let's add another album.
What about making a new background screen for my laptop? Sounds good.
Hey, what about the blog? I have such a good idea right now. It deserves to be written and posted NOW!
Wonder what XYZ is upto right now? We haven't spoken for so long? One of these days I should call up. No, maybe I'll message. No, I'll call. Yes, call is right. So what would be the perfect time to call? What if they are busy? What if...? What if...? What if...?

Some time later:
Did someone like or comment on the album?
I ought to check how many people have read the post by now.
Why is this person on my mind again...? I could do without thinking about them right now.

Near the deadline:
The task is still in its budding stages. Girl, you need to do something about it! Yes, just a minute. Okay, fine. Finally Do or Die situation. But someone needs my help right now. Helping them is definitely important. It cannot be compared with a lifeless thing like a task. Others before self.

Sooner or later, I complete the task. However, it would be wonderfully easy if my addictions didn't decide to overpower me just when I needed to concentrate on something else.

One day I hope I can control my addictions or get rid of them completely. Then I wonder if life will be interesting enough.

Dear Addictions
I love you. I sincerely do.
Love me like I love you.
Don't make it tough for me like you always do.

Sincerely Addicted
Fatima