No no no...!
Before you get all worried that I had a black out during my posting at Surgery, let me assure you I did not.
It's is just that I fell for Surgery...
Do I sound like I fell in love or something? I think, I do... Let's consider that for a moment that happened. ;)
I joined college a week late & didn't know what to expect. I was guided by my assorted group to the Surgery Out Patient Department (OPD). Once there I just followed the group. And then started the OPD examination.
I witnessed about 10 consecutive P/R (per rectal) Examinations. Felt nauseated. And then we had the 11th case. Brushing nausea aside, I stood there. I looked at my watch and was caught in the act by Shanawaz Sir... Looking at his watch he calmly informed "I guess Ramadan timings are over. There is still an hour till you leave." I flushed. The saving grace was Sir didn't know I'd never come during the Ramadan timings... I'd joined that very day.
Finally the P/R examinations & my 3hours of nausea came to an end. Today I feel that was Allah's planning to sensitize me to what lay ahead.
Next memorable OPD was on a Monday. I had been to the OPD on a Monday earlier & the team did not seem intimidating. Who knew the next Monday I'd almost swoon?
Homesickness compounded with having no food for almost 24 hours resulted in me having a strong black out sensation by the time I reached the OPD. I just sat on an extra chair placed there not caring to ask any of the Seniors. Major fault on my part but as I said the team wasn't intimidating. Shahbaz Sir came out of one examination room & while going into the next, I noticed the tough look he gave. When he finally came and stood right in front of me, I (feeling like a flustered fool) asked him for permission to sit during the class. (We normally stand for 3 hours).
He asked me to fill in investigation slips along with Rafi Sir(JR3) & Tauseef Sir(JR2). I am not sure the Junior Residents heard because I just sat there staring at the proceedings with no one telling me anything.
Then came Prof. M. A. Khan. I lost my chair within minutes. It still took time for me to stand and I kept leaning on one thing or other... If this wasn't enough Sir sent me to the Dressing Room twice. I couldn't stand and he sent me walking around. Then he asked me some question that I barely heard. I was concentrating on seeing to it that I don't collapse. The question was a basic thing & I am sure he must have thought I was a moron to not know the answer.
Finally the 50minutes drill came to an end without me fainting.
Alhamdulillah, next Monday onwards I wasn't as clueless. :)
Ward teachings were quite eventful too.
Started with Dr. Amjad Rizvi. Saw others presenting Patient History & Examination (H/E) to Sir. Thought it was quite easy.
Went to my room that day and prepared for it. Enthusiastically volunteered to take the Patient's History. It was a Mr Ram Swaroop with an abdominal lump.
Shahbaz Sir took class. And I must have given one of the worst Patient History. I can never thank Sir enough for not saying anything that day. (As my friends told me later, "Pata nahi Sir ne kaise itni buri History sun li. Aur koi hota to tumhari waat lagna pakka tha")
Later though I was the first choice when it came to H/E.
Another class was that of Dr. Hassan Harris. He came, he got us nervous, he made us realise how less we knew & Sir unknowingly also gave us ideas on what we could do while we were there.
While telling us how insincere we were towards postings he told us how we must have just sat through the 2 hours before he came. According to him we must have been playing on our mobile phones, or surfing Fb, or chatting. Until that day I didn't even realise all this could be done in those 2 hours. :p
Jokes apart, I enjoyed his ward days. 99% of the History or Examination always came to me. Many were scared of his cross questioning or just didn't want to stand at any risk of irritating him.
By the end he finally brought it to the notice of the group that a change of H/E was in order.
So for his next class I did the H/E and handed it over to two new faces.
And then came the most memorable class. I will refrain from mentioning the teacher's name.
He came, he performed & he left. And I was left seething with anger.
He entered class half hour before it was to get over. While listening to the H/E he asked one of us the definition of pain & then the class became a pain. The definition was followed by characteristics, types & all about pain.
He said we didn't even know where it was in the book. To prove his point, he asked us to find it in our books and show it to him. I happened to be the one who found it in a minute. (I'd read it almost everyday.) And the focus shifted on me. He asked me to read the definition which I did.
Then without any pre-disposing reason he said how he didn't expect me to understand English or even know what was meant by what I had just read out to him. I was told to read out all the definitions and then translate them in Hindi.
If only I could have told him I barely make my way with Hindi. Genius, I was born and brought up abroad! He spoke at length and soon I was numb. I lost track of where I was, why I was there, who all were there with me - completely lost. The only interesting thing to me then was the pattern on the floor around my feet. I kept staring at the ground for a long time.
I was pulled out of my reverie when he raised his voice once again. And I heard my group saying my name in hushed whispers... He was asking me when our exams were? It took time for me to comprehend his question and on being prompted I replied. This was the cue for his second round of mind-numbing rant.
His next question would have caused me to split in laughter if I wasn't so numb.
After accusing the only NRI in the group, who had a host of literary laurels behind her, of not knowing English, he asked whose English was the best. I continued staring at the interesting pattern on the ground.
Finally after what seemed like ages, he left.
Wasif Sir's classes were a breeze... His only tirade against me came on the last day of his teaching. I hadn't even made the mistake he corrected but sometimes we just have to learn to brush aside certain things.
Anees Sir also had a couple of classes with us... If there's something one learns from him is to explain. Talk to him & he will explain at length about any given topic in a manner that is unique to him.
Some others I'll remember are Tauseef Sir, Kaushal Sir, Anmol Sir, Pradeep Sir, Bhoopendra Sir & Mansoor Sir. Thankfully, they weren't like the JR I'll tell you about soon.
Naved Bhai, Thanks for giving us Monday OPD. No matter how many times the timetable changed, one thing was constant.
The best part of all the teachings and the OPD was that I enjoyed it. I did not faint, vomit or leave the ward at any point.
I survived witnessing ileostomy (thrice), saw all amount of blood, fungation or abscess without the typical nauseous look, did P/R examination 4 times & almost became a pro at diagnosing a particular condition.
There have been other experiences too... I won't name the people but some did make the posting very......interesting.
Like there was this JR who had some unexplained problem with me right from the first day.
I was talking to some girls in the OPD on the first day. Noticing him giving me the angry looks I moved away from the group just in time to be saved from his short lecture on behaviour in the OPD.
At another time I reached the OPD very early thanks to my addiction with Surgery & he made me stand for half an hour in a deserted OPD. I'd still respect him as a Senior if he hadn't done that.
Another instance found him at a loss for a chair. The only chair happened to be the one on which my bag was very comfortably seated. If he had it his way, he'd thrown it off but he couldn't. There was someone there to take care of me. So he resigned but let his discomfort be known by the looks... He just had to give that particular look. Even when I see him now, it's there.
He doesn't know but my group did a Head-to-Toe kind of General Examination on him once.
Hairstyle - No comments
Looks - No Comments
Dressing Sense - No Comments
Nature - No Comments
In Short, he wasn't worth our comments at all.
I gave an answer once in someone's first ward teaching with us. I got a memorable reply from the consultant. "Aisa hai, bakwaas to tum karo mat." (Don't talk nonsense.)
Thankfully Sir didn't remember that later and was all praise when I took the H/E on his following turns.
Then there was another teacher who said I was insincere during the whole course of my posting in Surgery. He said I had shown no interest at all. At another time he rated me -1/10 in class.
I just want to tell him these things some day:
I still miss Surgery posting because I WAS ACTIVELY INVOLVED in it.
I was the one whose Surgery Manual was copied. I did not write my cases in one sitting from someone's file.
I remember what myopectineal orifice is. Believe it or not, I'd read it from Bailey & Love, not SRB. I even carried it home during Eid holidays to study. It ended up being my album cover. (I had borrowed the book from Maulana Azad Library & still haven't found time to return it.)
And when sitting in a position of power, you ask me whether you are right or wrong... I will definitely lie to you.
And now coming to the end of the posting. The Viva.
The teachers taking it happened to be Shahbaz Sir & Anees Sir... Thanks for giving me the happiness of getting the highest marks. According to my sister, that couldn't have been possible...
Thanks to the one who was responsible for me getting addicted to surgery... You made the impossible happen. ;)
And now that I am in Medicine, I am working hard to like it like I liked Surgery but it is difficult. As they say, one never forgets their first love... In my case, I won't forget my first ward posting. :)
Above all thanks to Allah for all the highs, the lows & everything in between.
Surgically yours
Fatima Khan
