Total Acceptance

Humans are a complex species. They put on their best behaviour with people they are not related to. And when in the company of those they love, they behave impulsively without any care. But one thing is sure, if someone loves you, they accept you as a whole – both your best and your worst.

Anyone who meets me in college or while I am out with friends will instantly be taken by my smile, care-free attitude and infinite energy. There are no pretences at all. To teachers, friends, acquaintances, relatives who are elder or younger to me and to people I hardly know, I am the sweetest person they know. Anger, short of temper, mood swings, stubbornness and procrastination are traits they would never associate with me.

Shift to home, I am easily irritable, difficult to please and won’t get up to switch on the light of the room I am in. Even if it means waiting and screaming for my sister to come all the way from the living room or even if she has to stop doing her work for a while.

Why the shift, one may wonder…

The reason is simple. I take home for granted.

I know Ma is always going to be there fussing over me, cooking the best delicacies and catering to my smallest requirements.

Dad is going to be there to take care of everything.

My siblings are going to be there to help me with anything I am a dummy at, to fetch me things even a stone’s throw from me, listen to my mindless ranting and bear with my unjustifiable mood swings.

And if these things change just a teeny weeny bit, I explode like a nuclear bomb without any notice…. And the love flows in to repair the damage.

But now that I am alone, away from home, I realise how I have always taken the best relations in my life for granted.

Whenever I am feeling low, I miss ma & my siblings. They would do everything possible in a moment’s notice if they felt I was unwell or glum.

Ma, I am sorry for every time I have acted like a brat. You know I am not like that. Sometimes I just want to get attention. I want to steal you away from my siblings and as Ayesha says I do that on so many occasions.

Ma, I can never thank you enough. You are the one who taught me to dream. You gave me wings and taught me to fly. You were the one who always pushed me to do better than my best. Just being the best among others was never enough for you. If I had to see your smile and the pride in your eyes I had to break all previous records of my best performance. That has given me a rock-solid foundation & unquestionable work ethics. Thanks for teaching me it was acceptable to fail but never acceptable to cheat. Thanks for the wonderful advices. Thanks for all the trust you place in me and thanks for all the suspicions you harbour against me.

Thank you for introducing me to the Quran at such an early age. Thanks for teaching me about the most important relation in the world – the relation with Allah. Ma, even if I used all the water in the oceans to thank you, I would fall short. I hope I fulfil all your expectations from me in the best way I can.

I love you ma. I love you a lot more than I can ever say or show. I miss you every second I am alone.

But I also love my independence and you know that… ;)

In fact if there is anyone who knows me well, it is you. You know all that I tell you & all that I don’t. You know what the reason for my smiles and the reason behind my tears. You know everything but then I expect that from you… After Allah, it is Ma who knows everything…

Dad, Thanks for everything.

There’s one thing I can never forget and I always tell my friends – Dad took me to the 3am launch to a mall which was an hour from our house only because I wanted to be one of the first few to get my hands on the Harry Potter book. Thanks for the Personality Development Courses, Public Speaking Courses and all the ways that you tried to break the introvert I was. No one here will believe today I could not stand in front of an audience at some point of time. Today I can single-handedly rock the stage.

Ayesha, I already wrote you a poem telling you how much you mean to me though I usually behave otherwise. I am sorry for all the times when I stole ma from your important moments. My seriously falling ill timings are so wrongly timed. I am extremely sorry for that Ayesha. I respect you for all those times when you have managed without ma.

Girl, there’s so much I can learn from you. I promise I eventually will. You took on my no-nonsense attitude so well though you are at home in the protection of the whole family. And from the time I have moved away from home, I have taken more on your no pretences care-free attitude. So we both are half-way earning each other’s skills… No need to worry, you know that. What people see is just the tip of the ice-berg and you know me well. And yes, thanks for all the criticism and all the praise. It is you who are my most genuine objective feedback. I know you hate it when I write overly sentimental pieces but darling, I like writing them too. Thanks Ayesha for always being there when I am in tension and nothing in the world can calm me. Thanks for all your pep-talks. Love you, Sweetheart.

Imran, I love you brother. Whenever I see a bro-sis hanging out together or see a guy your age… I stop in my tracks. I want to be there fussing over you, nagging you with studies and irritating you to take photos whenever I dress up. I am sorry Imran for all the moments that I have played the spoilsport and told your secrets to ma. It was always in your best interest, brother. I am sorry for all the times when I have spoiled our outings with my unnecessary mood swings.

Thanks for always being there. Love you, brother.

Ma, Dad, Ayesha & Imran – all of you have been extremely competitive in your respective fields and it always encourages me to add to my family’s honour. I am proud of all your achievements and may you all be right at the top. Love you all.

Bi, Rashid Mamma, Annu Mamma – you all have played major roles in my life too but the good thing is I have never taken you for granted… It is the mistake which I commit time and again with my immediate family members.

Thank you everybody for bearing with me through my best and worst. I wouldn't have been the same without you. Thanks for the total acceptance.

Yours and only yours
Fatima